A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, or a Sheep in a Wolf Mask? (Emotional Avoidance)

We call them wolves, tigers, or sharks. Bears, eagles and lions symbolize their strength. These are the relentless humans who will stop at nothing to achieve.  They may be loud, seemingly unemotional and intimidating.  Society rewards them with terms such as successful and powerful, and showers them with money.  Other people want to either BECOME them, be WITH them, or even just be AROUND them.

Gorillas in the Midst – Bullying in the Workplace

Workplace Bullying.  It’s the new buzzword on respectful workplace policies.

I was unaware of the term “workplace bullying” until 2013, when I unexpectedly became the target of a bully.  It was sudden, because for about 3 years I did not have a toxic relationship with this individual. We graduated the same year from different colleges with the same degree and worked the same job. I considered us equals, although I was aware she was paid more than I was.  She did have a habit of coming to work late, and was often negative towards our manager, but I wasn’t the type of person who dwelled on that sort of thing.  After about 3 years however, I caught her discussing with another staff member that she had received additional staff discounts and that she knew I had not.  I went to management to talk to them about the unfair staff discounts (as I honestly felt we should have received the same discount for the same service), and that they needed to make it right somehow.

Are You Doing Self Care without Being Self Caring ?

Meditate.  Yoga.  Take a walk.  Have a nap.  Read.  Light some candles.  Drink some tea.

These are just a few of the hundreds, maybe thousands of things someone can do as “self care” exercises.  Self care is defined simply as doing something you enjoy for no other reason but to show appreciation to yourself.

It’s a great thing, and extremely necessary because people don’t do enough for themselves.

However, self care exercises can easily become another spoke on the wheel of anxiety and judgement. 

Why Using the Word “Should” Creates Expectation, Judgement, Stress (and possibly mental health issues)

You should.   We should.   They should.   I should….

Should – used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.

The word “should” denotes an expectation. Families should have children.  Children should learn and grow according to the recommended timelines. Parents should send their children to the best schools and enroll their children in physical activities.  Young people should go to college.  Everyone should get a job.  You should save money to buy a house.  You should save money for retirement.  We should spend money to boost the economy.

Is this word really damaging though?

When Compassion Casts a Shadow – The Dark Side of Caring (blog 3 of 3)

In the first blog of this series, I wrote about what compassion fatigue is and the factors that make caring industries at risk for compassion fatigue.  You can read that blog here: https://auraecoaching.ca/2017/11/13/when-compassion-casts-a-shadow-the-dark-side-of-caring-blog-1-of-3/

In the second blog of this series, I discussed how compassion fatigue can progress into abuse and cruelty, as well as briefly defined the difference between the two. You can read that blog here: https://auraecoaching.ca/2017/11/18/when-compassion-casts-a-shadow-the-dark-side-of-caring-blog-2-of-3/

This, the third and final blog of this series is about how my own personal and professional experiences helped erode my compassion to the point where I was capable of abuse and cruelty.

When Compassion Casts a Shadow – The Dark Side of Caring (blog 2 of 3)

In the first blog of this series, I defined compassion fatigue and the factors that make caring industries at risk for compassion fatigue.   You can read that blog here: https://auraecoaching.ca/2017/11/13/when-compassion-casts-a-shadow-the-dark-side-of-caring-blog-1-of-3/

This blog is going to briefly discuss how compassion fatigue can progress into abusive and cruel behaviour, as well as define the difference between the two.

When Compassion Casts a Shadow – The Dark Side of Caring (blog 1 of 3)

When people hear about abuse or cruelty in a workplace that cares for others, they are absolutely horrified. How does this happen? How do these people even get hired to work in a profession where they are expected to care for others? What makes someone so deranged? Then if you read the replies and comments, there is the barrage of emotionally charged threats and death wishes directed towards the perpetrators.